Are you wet?

-





 GOVERNMENT IMPLEMENTS A TOWEL CLEAN-UP ORDER AFTER LARGE AMOUNTS OF RAIN YESTERDAY 


LOS SANTOS, SA -  In an effort to clean up the mess from massive amounts of rain on the 24th, which was clearly the fault of  LSPD & Officer Arthur Harrow, city authorities responded to possible flooding by patting the coast with towels, sources confirmed Friday. 


“Now more than ever, it is important that we take action to protect our coastlines with ultra-absorbent linens,” said an anonymous spokesperson from the Governor's Office. They also confirmed that the government had dispatched the military across the region to minimize any overflow and potential damage by wadding up, rolling up, and spreading towels across its beaches. 


“We’re proud to be a part of the greatest U.S. climate change initiative to date. With this one simple action, thousands of millimeters of rain will be removed from our city. Plus, feel—they’re super soft.” 


Authorities advise staying inside your homes if any more rain occurs. They don’t want you being washed away with the dirty laundry.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Strawberry Rails Fuck Hard

-
Image
Strawberry Rails will fuck your nose like no other breakfast cereal, these organic Colombian marshmallows may or may not include Ketamine in every rail. "You are just one rail away from your wettest imagination", consumers all around the globe can not get enough of these sweet rails in their nostrils. 100% legal in every country on the planet. Before Strawberry Rails After Strawberry Rails   As you can see here Strawberry Rails truly work wonders. They are scientifically proven to make you more wet and fuck harder than ever before! ***WARNING--MAY CAUSE PREMATURE EJACULATION***
Read more

Police Raid Ziggy And Dogfighting

-
Image
Ziggy , a beloved member of our community, has been arrested. Reports from the LSPD confirm that there was an extreme bias by law enforcement who state that kids are on drugs, and poor people are criminals. Ziggy, a veteran of the Vietnam war, had been abandoned by his country to live a life of poverty after the war. This hero, down on his luck, found a living in the distribution of a legal recreational substance. His mistake? Not paying his taxes. Police Chief Dummy Thick stated that marijuana kills, and destroys families. A typical response from a police officer that wears jeans and sneakers on duty. Afterward, the question is raised to Police Chief Dummy Thick about aggressive police dogs in the city where he refused to comment.  “Attack Dogs Use: UNKNOWN. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. ” ATTENTION! Bill Burns is in search of the clitoris. We ask everyone to stay on HIGH ALERT until he has found the lost clitoris. He does not know the last known location of said clitoris. The only des...
Read more
-
Image
  Welcome back Lifeinvaders! Our team is back in action under new management. We put our lives on the line to invade yours! We look forward to sharing with you are adventures in the weeks to come.
Read more